Our society creates very limited ways of being masculine.

1.  Who is likely to commit random acts of school violence?





2.  Why do they do this?






3.  What can males and females do to change this violent masculinity?


In another post I blogged a little more seriously about the violent masculinity that is socially constructed in America. (see Mask You linity). This video is humorous because
A.it's my life, but
B.because it is still so different and uncool to think of stay-at-home dads as being a exciting and meaningful in our society.

If you like that video, there are lots more very funny videoes by that artist (Lajoie), but especially related to this post is another video called everyday guy, which is a humorous rap about being a regular guy - the average guy that the media neglects. Why is being a stay-at-home dad or a "regular guy" so funny? Because our notions of what is acceptable to be a "real man" is so messed up. So, what is your definition of a real man? Let me give some examples of what I think a real man should be:
A real man...
is able to wake up in the middle of the night to comfort a crying baby
has opinions but restrains emotions of anger
allows someone else to save face even if it makes him look bad
Is willing to take the lead but is not concerned with who gets the credit
is able to empathize
tries to be respective of others' feelings, but says sorry when he is at fault
is willing to try things that are difficult but can ask for help when he needs it
forgives someone who wrongs him
doesn't whine but is not afraid to say is hurt, vulnerable, or that he cares.

Here is an article from the NY Times called Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest.  It is another example of how to re-define masculinity.

Many males put on a tough guise to pretend that they are a tough guy because that is the only acceptable way to be masculine in our society.

Veteran's Day at Sal Squadron!

Stopped by my local American Legion today to make a donation.  

The relationship between veterans and poverty is complex. Nationally, poverty among veterans is half that compared to the general public. But when vets fall through the cracks, they can fall hard. Poverty coupled with other factors like a lack of support networks or substandard housing has made it 50 percent more likely for veterans to become homeless than other Americans. There are still 1.5 million young veterans who live with incomes below the poverty line. In 2011, about 900,000 veterans lived in households that relied on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), a government food stamp program. Government cuts to the program will affect about 5,000 troops according to the Pentagon. http://wheaton.patch.com/groups/newscruncher/p/map-do-veterans-live-in-the-impoverished-parts-of-town-wheaton

American Culture and Tues With Morrie (3 of 3)

Happiness v. Work, Personal Achievement, Success, Materialism
What are some ways that Mitch values hard work, achievement, success? Is this true for you or your parents? Does this start in high school or even sooner? What ways? Is it possible to obtain a different type of success? Think about (click here for more info) the Nothing assignment and how we connect what we do to who we are as people. Our culture constructs a reality where we are not allowed to just be. We must be doing at all times; it is valuing personal achievement, time, work, competition, materialism and success. Note that happiness is never a a part of the equation.  The hegemonic assumption is that happiness simply comes with those values.  See this post about happiness and it's relationship to money.  Contrast these values with the values that Michael Buettner writes about in his book Thrive.  What are the lessons you learned from Thrive?  How would you like to live your life differently after reading this?  What would be a message you would like to share with the rest of your classmates who don't have the privilege of being in our class?  This value cluster also reminds me of this joke about an American businessman and a Mexican fisherman. 

American Culture and Tues With Morrie (2 of 3)

Understanding and Applying the American value cluster of Independence, Freedom, Individualism & Personal Control v. Dependency

1.  Individually, reflect on Tuesdays with Morrie.  What are some examples within the movie of characters being individualistic (as opposed to being dependent)?  How does the value of Individualism combine with the value of personal control?  Cite examples from the movie.

2.  What are some ways that you see the values of individualism and personal control shaping your own life or the lives of your parents/siblings/friends?

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3.    After you discussed number one above in your small group, do you understand how the American cultural values can shape individuals’ lives?

_____Yes

_____No

If yes, what was one example from your group partners that was a good example?

If no, why not?  What questions do you have?

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4.  Close your eyes.  Think of someone influential in your life.  Now write down who you thought about and why you thought about that person.


When you are finished, click here.


In what ways are Americans afraid of being dependent on others? Do you think that this is related to our value of independence and freedom? In what ways do you depend on other people? Does this bother you? Another great example of these values influencing us negatively is explored in this TED talk by Brene Brown. She speaks about vulnerability and our culture. We want to numb our feelings of vulnerability, but in doing so we also numb our feelings of connection to others and our sense of worthiness which allows us to feel love and happiness.
The feeling of individualism and independence that creates this lack of invulnerability may also detach us from feelings of gratitude that help contribute to our happiness.

American Culture and Tues With Morrie (1of 3)

Tuesdays with Morrie can be a case study in examining American values.  If we think with sociological mindfulness we can see how these values become a part of who we are and how we help to promote the values.  Then, we can start to choose how and when the values influence us.  This can help us prioritize our life.  Here is a link to a story about priorities.

Death v. Materialism, Individualism
Are Americans afraid of death? Is death a taboo topic? Why do you think this is the case? How might our feelings about death be related to our materialism? I also think that our feelings about death are rooted in our culture's individualism. See this post about the way our culture associates individualism with grieving one's death.  That is why I think most students would say the movie was a sad movie (at least parts of it) even though those same students would admit that Morrie doesn't want them to be sad.  Morrie himself explains,"Don't be so sad because I'm going to die Mitch...Death ends a life but not a relationship..." And Morrie explains, I'll still love you and you'll always love me.

 Love v. Individualism, Materialism
Do you think that Americans are afraid to love each other, or show that they love each other? If we are afraid to love, why might that be? Does our culture socially construct our reality so that we are afraid to love? What values in our culture might make us feel this way? How can we overcome this? What is the difference between the value of “romantic love” and real love - the love Morrie talks about?   I think these different types of love are related to American values too.  See this post for more on the idea of romantic love vs. real love.  How is this a part of your life?

Tuesdays With Morrie

We watched Tuesdays With Morrie as an example of American culture. Watch it here on mediacast. The movie reflects on both American norms and taboos and on American values.

As you watch the movie, look for all of the ways that the American values  affect Mitch and look for the ways that Morrie talks about those values.
Try to think about how those values show up in your own life and in your parents' lives.

Here is a list of quotes from the book.

When I realized I was an American...

When I was in Italy, I felt like I was returning home. I had always thought that because my Grandfather emmigrated from Italy, that I was Italian too. I looked Italian. I had an Italian surname. So when I went to Italy I met Italians and I told them that I was Italian too.

They said, "Where were you born?"
"In Chicago," I answered.
[LAUGHS] "You are not Italian!"
"But my grandfather was born in Italy."
"Ohh, your grandfather is Italian, but YOU are American."
"Really?"
"Look at you - blue jeans, baseball cap, gym shoes...you are American!"

This was such a revelation for me. I had always thought of myself as Italian, but bow I realize that my heritage was Italian, but my nationality was American.

Although it is difficult to define at times, Americans do have their own unique culture. There are reasons that this culture is difficult to understand. Some of the difficulties in understanding American culture are:
Real vs. Ideal Culture - Sometimes a culture of people will believe in an ideal, but their reality is different.  For example most people in the U.S. will agree that equality is an ideal, but the reality is that we are more unequal than most countries and realistically we do not support a lot of programs designed to equalize people, instead that is seen as socialism and is frowned upon.
Value Contradiction - Some values contradict each other, such as individualism and equality.  It is difficult to see all people as individuals and treat them equally.  Inherently, if you are an individual, you are not equal, you are different and unique.
Value Cluster - Sometimes values work together to create a really strong system of belief, such as: personal control, work, achievement, success, materialism.
Globalization and cultural leveling - Some values from the United States have spread around the world so we see them as natural, but really it just our influence that has spread them.

But those who study culture have identified values that Americans hold that make them unique.

 Kohl's "Values Americans Live By" is a really succinct explanation of American values.




American Values                                        vs.Other Cultures’ Values
Personal control/responsibility                   vs Fate/destiny
Change seen as natural/positive/Progress  vs. Stability/tradition
Time and its control                                     vs. Human Interaction
Equality/fairness                                          vs. Hierarchy/rank/status
Individualism/independence/freedom   vs. Group welfare/dependence
Self-Help/initiative                                    vs. Birthright/inheritance
Competition                                               vs. Cooperation
Future orientation                                     vs. Past orientation
Action/work                                                vs. “Being”
Informality                                                 vs. Formality
Directness/openness/Honesty                    vs. Indirectness/ritual/”face”
Practicality/efficiency                                 vs. Idealism/theory
Materialism/Acquisitiveness                        vs. Spiritualism/detachment
Achievement/Success                                   vs. Acceptance/Status Quo
Morality/judgement                        vs.Consequentialism/situational ethics

Robin Williams (The sociologist, not the actor), studied American culture in the 1970s and came up with his own list of values, which is largely still applicable today.

Can you apply any of these American values to your own life? Perhaps you can show how these values pervade your experience at school?  Note that the values are subtle but strong.  They affect you in so many subtle ways that you don't notice but you are shaped by them in a profound way.  Here is an example of how we are shaped as a culture in subtle ways:

The Subtle Way that Values Shape Your Life

Let's think with sociological mindfulness for a second about values.  They shape you in so many different ways. And they also shape the entire culture in certain ways.  These values lead to behaviors that we all participate in unconsciously.  These behaviors can have an enormous impact on a culture when you view them as cultural behaviors.  Watch this TED talk by Chris Jordan to see how the behaviors impact our culture:

After watching that video, take a moment and think about this:
1. What are the behaviors that SHS students participate in unconsciously that when taken as a whole, has a huge impact?
2. Try to estimate what the total impact of that behvior is. Use data/research to figure that out.
3. What American cultural values shape the behavior in your example?
4. How could you display that data for others to see?
5.  How is Chris Jordan's work an example of sociological mindfulness?

Volunteer Op: A Just Harvest

 Mrs. Fainman will be taking students to the Just Harvest soup kitchen friday, Oct 7 in Evanston. If you are interested, please email her at mfainman@d125.org. If you volunteer for this opportunity, SHS will provide a bus and you will leave school PROMPTLY at 3:30 and return to school at 7:30.  Wear closed-toed shoes.  There will also be opportunities to go to this on the second Friday of each month.   If you need more info, please contact Mrs. Fainman.

3 Perspectives and sports

Today we talked about the three perspectives of sociology and how they relate to sports.

I like to think about the three perspectives as three different ways of having a sociological imagination.  Three specific ways of having a sociological imagination are the three founding perspectives of sociology.  These three perspectives were the beginning of sociology.  All three of them were a reaction to the extraordinary changes of the industrial revolution taking place in Europe in the 1800s.  The founder of each of these theories is considered one of the founding fathers of sociology.  Here are the ways that we applied each theory to the tv show:

What are the groups and what functions do they serve? Are there negative influences from any of the groups (dysfunctions)? This is functional theory. It was developed by Emile Durkheim.

Who has power? How or why do they have power? How do they use it? This is conflict theory. It was first developed by Karl Marx.

What are the important symbols? Note that the symbols might be an object, but also might be an idea, an event or something else. How do people act based on the symbols they find important? This is symbolic interactionism. I like to connect symbolic interactionism to Max Weber.

Can you relate any of these theories to your own life? How can the things you do be interpreted through one of these theories? For example why do you wear what you wear or why are you going to college or why do you stress yourself out to get "good" grades?