Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Our society creates very limited ways of being masculine.
1. Who is likely to commit random acts of school violence?
2. Why do they do this?
3. What can males and females do to change this violent masculinity?
In another post I blogged a little more seriously about the violent masculinity that is socially constructed in America. (see Mask You linity). This video is humorous because
A.it's my life, but
B.because it is still so different and uncool to think of stay-at-home dads as being a exciting and meaningful in our society.
If you like that video, there are lots more very funny videoes by that artist (Lajoie), but especially related to this post is another video called everyday guy, which is a humorous rap about being a regular guy - the average guy that the media neglects. Why is being a stay-at-home dad or a "regular guy" so funny? Because our notions of what is acceptable to be a "real man" is so messed up. So, what is your definition of a real man? Let me give some examples of what I think a real man should be:
A real man...
is able to wake up in the middle of the night to comfort a crying baby
has opinions but restrains emotions of anger
allows someone else to save face even if it makes him look bad
Is willing to take the lead but is not concerned with who gets the credit
is able to empathize
tries to be respective of others' feelings, but says sorry when he is at fault
is willing to try things that are difficult but can ask for help when he needs it
forgives someone who wrongs him
doesn't whine but is not afraid to say is hurt, vulnerable, or that he cares.
Here is an article from the NY Times called Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest. It is another example of how to re-define masculinity.
Many males put on a tough guise to pretend that they are a tough guy because that is the only acceptable way to be masculine in our society.