Thursday, October 26, 2017

Discussing Masculinity

HW: Read Just Mercy chapters 5,6, and 12.

Kimmel and Mahler's Adolescent Masculinity, Homophobia and Random School Shootings

The article by Kimmel and Mahler in American Behavioral Scientist explains who shoots up schools randomly and why.

1.  What are the demographics of random school shooters?


2.  How is race related to the random school shootings?


3. What do you think Kimmel and Mahler's thesis is?


4. What is their evidence?  In other words, explain their methods.

Tough Guise

As white males perceive their power declining, they cling to traditional ideas of masculinity.

5.  What are the perceived threats to white male power?

6.  What are some ways males can cling to or bolster traditional masculinity?

Redefining masculinity.

Next, please read this article from the NY Times about redefining masculinity.  

After you have read that, please answer the following questions:

7.  How is boys’ performance in school related to masculinity?

8.  What research does social psychology provide about males at a young age (1-5yrs) and at older ages (teen years)?

9.  How does the growing number of women on college campuses affect men?

10.  What are some ways that colleges specifically, and society in general, can help males have a healthier self-identity?


Friday, October 13, 2017

Family as Agent of Socialization

This post highlights research on facebook showing the influence of parents on their children's careers.

https://research.fb.com/do-jobs-run-in-families/


Thursday, October 12, 2017

LGBT Panel

We were fortunate to have a panel of lgbtq students who shared their experiences with those of us willing to listen. Thanks to all who listened with a beginner's mind.

I found it really telling how several of the students spoke about how they could not figure out why they felt different or felt that something was not right.  I think it was a poignant example that sexual orientation and gender identity is not a choice.  In a couple of cases the students grew up in homes where being gay was not even discussed.  The student didn't even know what the words "lesbian" or "homosexual" were.  Furthermore, some students were from homes that strongly did not accept homosexuality.  Knowing the power of socialization and nurture, I think it really sheds light on the fact that these students did not choose to be that way.

Another message was to be mindful about other people. Using language like "That's so gay," or "You're a fag" is hurtful to those who are gay. And, by using that language it really limits how those of us who are not gay are allowed to act and  I don't want to be put into a really narrow box.  There is a spectrum for gender and sex and sexuality, but our culture refuses to acknowledge the spectrum or allow anyone to live along the spectrum.  Instead we are pushed into a box at one end of the spectrum.

Also, realize that all people are different and this includes those who are glbt. They might be categorized as gay or lesbian or transgender but be careful that you don't turn that category into a stereotype. Each person is an individual with his/her own preferences about how to act, talk etc... Try to see each person as individuals and do not make assumptions about how they are.  And in doing so, don't make their status a master status.  In other words, if a friend comes out to you, thank them for trusting you but going forward don't make every conversation about being gay.  Realize that they have a multitude of other interests in their lives such as school, sports, movies, etc...

Lastly, I also think it was revealing how strong the agents of socialization were in their development and acceptance (or not) of their selves.  In some cases, their family had them convinced that they were not gay. But in the end, they did not have a choice about their sexuality, it just comes with who they are. If you are interested in resources or how you can help checkout itgetsbetter.org and stopbullying.gov

Here are some notes from the panel:

Sydney (she/her) –
Identity comes from many things.  Some things you can change or can’t change.  Sexual identity is similar.  Some people make assumptions about you, some don’t. 
All the way through 5th grade, I kept a diary.  It started very traditional “I like ponies” and gradually changed to “why does everyone want me to have a boyfriend?”   As time goes on you question these parts of their identities.  I didn’t realize that girls can be gay until 15.  But that is not the largest part of my identity. (Master status).  My sexuality is

Q: do you feel that society overemphasizes sexuality? 

Maggie (she/her)-
First time I realized I was not straight is 5th grade.  Family is very conservative; lead to medication, hospitalization and depression.  “Gay people are damned to hell.”  With help through therapy realized I was bisexual.  I play softball so I hear a lot of dyke jokes.  Maybe people aren’t as accepting as I thought they’d be.  “Everything is gay!”

Q: was this pejorative joking?

Fr year I told my best friend and she outed me.  At the time it was really hard for me because she outed me.
Recently, I became comfortable with who I am.  I was with a boy who was taking advantage of me. He was convinced that he could turn me straight.  And he made me think I was wrong.  It took me a long time to realize that I was sexually assaulted and it wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t because of who I am.  I have met some great friends now and a really supportive LGBTQ community.

Hannah
Started telling friends a couple years ago.  Built it up. And invited friends out like a big reveal.  I originally told them I was bisexual, then gay, then no labels, but overall never really changed.

Q: “just in case you decide to be straight”
Q: why so difficult to come to terms with what you were? You? Society? (Sapir Whorf)

Really, sexuality never changed just the words that I use to describe it have changed.  I told my sister, it was fine, but I was worried to tell my parents.  I had to tell my dad to avoid the awkwardness.  My dad accepted but my mom had trouble with it.  Mom asked me awkward questions, but in the end I felt very liberated.  I lost a lot of people I care about – I even have a whole side of my family that won’t even talk to me.  On me and my twin sister’s bday, I don’t get a call from my grandma but my sis does.

Danny
Around middle school, everyone kind of knew before me.  I talked to a lot of girls, but I was more feminine. (binary problems)  13-14 is too young to really understand it.  I told parents and parents said it’s just a phase.  Parents have an outline/plan for their kids.  Just came out on social media.  Coming out – socially first because SHS is overall supportive.  Fr-JR was really hard.  Fr. Year was awful, but then I thought bi first bc safety net.  Jr. year I was more coming to terms.  I didn’t tell my mom, but I still didn’t tell my dad.  Coming out doesn’t get easier, it gets better.  SHS is a good place.

Q: Safety net?

But senior year was really good.  Surrounded by a good community.  Surround yourself with people who make you happy.  Be you, even if you are weird as hell.

Achuth
Fr year was really hard – depression but I was dealing with sexual identity.

“We know.”

Q: How to react to those who come out to you.

A lot of difficulty was with being Asian (intersectionality).
LGBTQ is not discussed in Asian society.
Overall, process is hard because you have to come out every single day.

Q: explain coming out every single day.

Can’t have a discussion about these things in my family.  Very difficult.
Process is easier if you meet others like you.


Q: Queer as a label?


Importance of words as a label – (Sapir Whorf).

Julia
I am gay.  I came out 2 years ago.  I came out to my mom. And she said this is horrible, this is a phase.  My sister was like I’m so happy!  So weird.  Hardest to come out to my team.  We change together.  But they were really cool about it.  I don’t tell everyone in my family.  At Rosh hashanah How many matza balls in your soup?  None! But grandma doesn’t catch on.  Some people are weird about it, but overall surrounded by really good people.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Socialization, Nurture and Love

I am convinced of the overwhelming power of love in the world. As a sociologist, my interest is in the effects that people's environments have on each other. Below I will outline the research that has lead me to believe in the power that loving each other has on our being. To learn to love each other and allow ourselves to love should be our ultimate cause. This may sound corny or anecdotal, however, there is research that supports this. From Henslin's Sociology; A Down To Earth Approach, we read about Skeels and Dye's study of institutionalized children (1939) and Skeels follow-up study in 1966. The research found that children given love, affection, stimulation and intimacy are able to be more independent, socially-attached, more successful adults later in life.  Look at the difference between the children that stayed behind at the orphange receiving proper care, but little stimulation, love and affection versus the children who went to a home where adults with special needs could show them love, attention, nurture and stimulation:
-->
Institutionalized Children (Skeels & Dye)
Orphanage 12                                                Home for Special Needs 13
More functional at first                              More severely dysfunctional
Proper care, but no stimulation                Stimulation, play, challenge and affection
    -30 IQ pts                                                       +28 IQ pts
     - avg. less than 3rd grade ed                     - avg. of 12th grade 5 complete 1+ years of college       
      - 4 live in institutions                                -  all 13 were self-supporting or homemakers
     - low level jobs                                            - 1 grad school
     - 2 marry                                                      - 11 marry


There is a power in our interaction with other people that is difficult to measure.
Dean Ornish M.D. writes about this force in his book, Love and Survival. Checkout the excerpt below:
Love and survival.
What do they have to do with each other?
This book is based on a simple but powerful idea: Our survival depends on the healing power of love, intimacy, and relationships. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. As individuals. As communities. As a country. As a culture. Perhaps even as a species....I have no intention of diminishing the power of diet and exercise or, for that matter, of drugs and surgery....As important as these are, I have found that perhaps the most powerful intervention-and the most meaningful for me and for most of the people with whom I work, including staff and patients--is the healing power of love and intimacy, and the emotional and spiritual transformation that often result from these.

In this book, I describe the increasing scientific evidence from my own research and from the studies of others that cause me to believe that love and intimacy are among the most powerful factors in health and illness, even though these ideas are largely ignored by the medical profession. As I review the extensive scientific literature that supports these ideas, I will describe the limitations of science to document and understand the full range of these implications--not only in our health and illness, but also in what often brings the most joy, value, and meaning to our lives. I give examples from my life and from the lives of friends, colleagues, and patients.

Medicine today tends to focus primarily on the physical and mechanistic: drugs and surgery, genes and germs, microbes and molecules. I am not aware of any other factor in medicine--not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery that has a greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness, and premature death from all causes.

Cholesterol, for example, is clearly related to the incidence of illness and premature death from heart disease and stroke. Those with the highest blood cholesterol levels may have a risk of heart attack several times greater than those with the lowest levels and lowering cholesterol levels will reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke. However, cholesterol levels are not related to such diseases as complications during pregnancy and childbirth, the incidence of illness and premature death from infectious diseases, arthritis, ulcers, and so on, whereas loneliness and isolation may significantly increase the risk of all these. Something else is going on.

Smoking, diet, and exercise affect a wide variety of illnesses, but no one has shown that quitting smoking, exercising, or changing diet can double the length of survival in women with metastatic breast cancer, whereas the enhanced love and intimacy provided by weekly group support sessions has been shown to do just that, as I will describe in chapter 2. While genetics plays a role in most illnesses, the number of diseases in which our genes play a primary, causative role is relatively small. Genetic factors--even when combined with cholesterol levels and all of the known risk factors--account for no more than one-half the risk of heart disease.

Love and intimacy are at a root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing. If a new drug had the same impact, virtually every doctor in the country would be recommending it for their patients. It would be malpractice not to prescribe it--yet, with few exceptions, we doctors do not learn much about the healing power of love, intimacy, and transformation in our medical training. Rather, these ideas are often ignored or even denigrated.

It has become increasingly clear to even the most skeptical physicians why diet is important. Why exercise is important. Why stopping smoking is important. But love and intimacy? Opening your heart? And what is emotional and spiritual transformation?

I am a scientist. I believe in the value of science as a powerful means of gaining greater understanding of the world we live in. Science can help us sort out truth from fiction, hype from reality, what works from, what doesn't work, for whom, and under what circumstances. Although I respect the ways and power of science, I also understand its limitations as well. What is most meaningful often cannot be measured. What is verifiable may not necessarily be what is most important. As the British scientist Denis Burkitt once wrote, "Not everything that counts can be counted."

We may not yet have the tools to measure what is most meaningful to people, but the value of those experiences is not diminished by our inability to quantify them. We can listen, we can learn, and we can benefit greatly from those who have had these experiences. When we gather together to tell and listen to each other's stories, the sense of community and the recognition of shared experiences can be profoundly healing.

I have just started reading another book about the psychology of love and it's impact on our lives. The book is A General Theory of Love by Amini, Lannon and Lewis and here is a review:
Drawing on new scientific discoveries and seventy years of collective clinical experience, three psychiatrists unravel life's most elemental mystery: the nature of love.

A primordial area of the brain, far older than reason or thinking, creates both the capacity and the need for emotional intimacy that all humans share. A General Theory of Love describes the workings of this ancient, pivotal urge and reveals that our nervous systems are not self-contained. Instead, our brains link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that makes up the very life force of the body. These wordless and powerful ties determine our moods, stabilize and maintain our health and well-being, and change the structure of our brains. In consequence, who we are and who we become depend, in great part, on whom we love.

A General Theory of Love applies these and other extraordinary insights to some of the most crucial issues we face in our lives. Its authors explain how relationships function and where love goes wrong, how parents shape a child's developing self, how psychotherapy really works, what curbs and what fosters violent aggression in our children, and how modern society regularly courts disaster by flouting emotional laws it does not yet recognize.

A work of rare originality, passion, and eloquence, A General Theory of Love will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.